Alex is Soooo Learning

Alex does, I admit, often seem pretty darn clueless. He's bright enough, but if his mind is elsewhere getting it HERE can be exasperating. So today we were supposed to go over verb tenses, concentrating only on the three most graspable for first graders: past, present and future. So I explained what each was, and then used the verb "play" as indicated in the helpful little notes to show the tenses. "So I would say, 'Yesterday I PLAYED.' Right?"

He stopped looking off into space and said, "Oh, yesterday is in the PAST, right?"

"Yes, I just said that. So I would say 'Yesterday I....' I what?"

Alex just stared up slightly to my left. "I don't know." *sigh*

"OK, past tense, I would say, 'Yesterday I PLAYED.' Present tense is right now: 'Today we play.' Then future is :'Tomorrow we will play.' See? Past, present, future. See, right now is present, so I'd say, 'Duncan is sitting on the couch because he took the cushions off the playroom sofa which made my very mad.' Later, we can say, 'Duncan sat on the couch this morning because he took all the cushions off the playroom sofa,' because this will be in the past by then. Or we could say, 'Tomorrow Duncan will sit on the couch when he takes the cushions off the playroom sofa again.' See?"

At least I had him smiling now (though Duncan was glaring at me from his time-out on the couch), but I had no idea if he was actually absorbing any of this.

"So, your assignment is to take what you copied yesterday for handwriting and make it past tense. What does this say?"

He read the passage. " 'I will give you wisdom,' God said. 'I will also give you riches and honor.' "

"So, what tense is that?"

He gave a bored look and half-yawned, "Pres--" then he suddenly went alert and said, "Ah, future! It's future!"

I was actually surprised. "Yes! And so what would it say if it was past?"

"It would be, 'I GAVE you wisdom!' " he stated confidently.

"Great! And the second part?"

" 'I also GAVE you riches and honor.' "

"That's right! So your assignment is just to write that." I was kind of feeling guilty that I had doubted he could get it that easily, when he twisted the knife even more.

The little imp gave a hint of a grin as he looked sideways at me and asked, "OK, but can that be FUTURE?"

"Future?"

Slowly his smile grew because he knew he was being an imp, so he tried to keep turned away as he shot quick sideways glances at me. "Like future tense, so I WILL write it LAY-ter?"

OK, if the kid had whined, complained, begged, or flat-out asked if he could do it later, I would not have entertained it for a second. But for that little hesitant bit of wit, with that self-conscious, sly little smile? Well, I'm a bit starved for wit, you know, being married to Jake, so here it is, 11pm and I still haven't decided that the future is now present.