Don't Ever, Ever Compliment Sue
Jake here. This was from a posting to "the clan", our family email list. Sue is responding to Maria, who said something about Sue being a superwoman because of how funny she was and how awesome she is for managing six kids. From here forward it's all her...
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Second, let me explain that I am not Superwoman, I am Negligent Mom--the woman who stands in front of the computer and once in a while says stuff like "No, it's a silent E" or "Quick, guys, that's the beep on the microwave, before it gets cold who wants chili and who wants nuggets? Come get your bowls, I need to go make fun of Daddy and Uncle Joe...No, not also Uncle Matt, only an idiot would do that, even if I was right I'd end up in pieces....Never mind, when you are old enough to be on Clanmail you'll understand. Cheddar or no cheddar?" or "Garrett, we don't jump on the trampoline when we eat chili, please sit down" or 40 minutes later "Why aren't you guys in bed? You can read time, you don't need me to tell you to brush teeth and get into PJs and get into bed and read stories to each other, do you? Don't you see it's dark? Oh, fine, *I* will nurse Dunc, then." OK, so maybe a diaper or two got changed in there, maybe we did a quadruple dunk in the tub, but those are simple tasks accomplished in three minutes or less, and when Alex STILL wanted a cup after 20 minutes I did pluck him up from the bottom of the stairs where he was chanting "MAHHHH-meeee, MAHHHHHHH-meeeee..." and escort him and his precious cup to his bed, but I will honestly say that though there are times at 7:15am when I am in the van with six kids up, fed, dressed and set for school all on my own, when I think "OK, I'm not half bad!" I do NOT think I deserve any compliments on my mothering on a night when it is more than obvious from the volume of email that Joe had more words and time devoted to him than my six kids combined; on a night when I look back and say, "Yeah, I need to give up email between 3pm and kids' bedtime, this was just wrong"--in other words, CUT IT OUT YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL REALLY REALLY BAD!
From the guys it's one thing to comment on how amazing it is I can do this while watching the kids, because they would not even be aware of how many things they are ignoring while they ignore them to email, can't think up an argument and wipe poop and correct homework at the same time (because unlike a woman, two of those are NOT automatic for the guys), and are generally clueless domestically, so I can put on a good show of being productive while emailing. But another woman can obviously figure out that I can't actually be doing much while actually typing and therefore must be standing in front of a computer for decent lengths of time when I don't do any child-tending and am slacking off--not in the same TOTALLY unproductive way the guys do when they totally don't do or think of any work, but for a woman, any woman, not just a mom or a mom of many, I was slacking off in a huge way.
On my wit, however, please, feel free...
Sue :)
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Second, let me explain that I am not Superwoman, I am Negligent Mom--the woman who stands in front of the computer and once in a while says stuff like "No, it's a silent E" or "Quick, guys, that's the beep on the microwave, before it gets cold who wants chili and who wants nuggets? Come get your bowls, I need to go make fun of Daddy and Uncle Joe...No, not also Uncle Matt, only an idiot would do that, even if I was right I'd end up in pieces....Never mind, when you are old enough to be on Clanmail you'll understand. Cheddar or no cheddar?" or "Garrett, we don't jump on the trampoline when we eat chili, please sit down" or 40 minutes later "Why aren't you guys in bed? You can read time, you don't need me to tell you to brush teeth and get into PJs and get into bed and read stories to each other, do you? Don't you see it's dark? Oh, fine, *I* will nurse Dunc, then." OK, so maybe a diaper or two got changed in there, maybe we did a quadruple dunk in the tub, but those are simple tasks accomplished in three minutes or less, and when Alex STILL wanted a cup after 20 minutes I did pluck him up from the bottom of the stairs where he was chanting "MAHHHH-meeee, MAHHHHHHH-meeeee..." and escort him and his precious cup to his bed, but I will honestly say that though there are times at 7:15am when I am in the van with six kids up, fed, dressed and set for school all on my own, when I think "OK, I'm not half bad!" I do NOT think I deserve any compliments on my mothering on a night when it is more than obvious from the volume of email that Joe had more words and time devoted to him than my six kids combined; on a night when I look back and say, "Yeah, I need to give up email between 3pm and kids' bedtime, this was just wrong"--in other words, CUT IT OUT YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL REALLY REALLY BAD!
From the guys it's one thing to comment on how amazing it is I can do this while watching the kids, because they would not even be aware of how many things they are ignoring while they ignore them to email, can't think up an argument and wipe poop and correct homework at the same time (because unlike a woman, two of those are NOT automatic for the guys), and are generally clueless domestically, so I can put on a good show of being productive while emailing. But another woman can obviously figure out that I can't actually be doing much while actually typing and therefore must be standing in front of a computer for decent lengths of time when I don't do any child-tending and am slacking off--not in the same TOTALLY unproductive way the guys do when they totally don't do or think of any work, but for a woman, any woman, not just a mom or a mom of many, I was slacking off in a huge way.
On my wit, however, please, feel free...
Sue :)
posted by Sue Freivald at
8:13 PM
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