Too much Animal Planet and Bus Talk

OK, so today i had to take Duncan for his check-up and Bot for his shots, and Cory cheerfully asked if she "should go along to entertain Duncan while you hold Richard for his shots" and I let her. Richard cried before the shot and even more after, and complained afterward about having to have them. Finally, attempting to be humorous for myself if not for the kids, I said, "Look, I didn't exactly want to give birth to you either, but I had to, so I did, even though it hurt--and a lot more than your shot, I might add."

Bot was trying to figure out how this was relevant to his misery when Cory said, "Yeah, can you imagine pushing a HEAD out through your PRIVATES?" i was distracted at that moment trying to park a 15-passenger van in the Whole Foods parking lot--not so simple a fit, so I didn't continue the line of conversation just then. Then, when we'd crossed the parking lot and were getting Duncan into the shopping cart, Richard belted out for everyone also entering the store to hear, "So, Cory, when YOU'RE big you're going to have to push a BABY out of your PRIVATES, then?"

I cut in with, "OK, now, let's not have too much talk of privates in public."

But as we walked in and turned toward the fruit salad, Cory thoughtfully stated, "Well, it depends--only if I mate, I will."

"Only if you what?" I asked.

"If I mate."

"Well, Coriander, that's an interesting choice of words." Such a clinical word for an 8-yr-old--it brought to mind all the Animal Planet they've been watching since a friend introduced us to it--all crocodiles, snakes, lizards, and talk of venom and mating and such.

"Well, Mom, what other word could I use? I didn't want to say the F word, after all!"

I tried to take this all in stride without laughing--after all, we already knew that some older kids in the bus had chosen to introduce some of the younger kids to the choicer vocabulary words (and had suffered the calm wrath of the appropriate school officials), so Jake had gone through which words she'd heard, explained what each meant and why she wasn't to use them. Her knowledge of this word wasn't shocking, but referring to it in context was as unexpected as "mate."

"Well, true, though there are some other words and phrases that could also be used--perhaps we'll go over that later when we're not, well, here. How's this fruit salad look?"