The Value of a Good Watch

On a list somewhere, there was some talk about transitions and giving kids warnings befor they had to stop and activity or go home or inside, and I remembered The Watch--now that I think of it, I can't believe I don't have it anymore, though it may explain why things are not always as smooth or protest-free as it was when the older ones were young and we lived by those little beeps...

I used to have this cheap Casio watch--every year or two I'd lose it and would just go and plunk down my $20 for a new one just like it. It was waterproof so I almost never took it off AND it had a count-down function--you just pressed the little button for it to go off in 1, 3, 5, 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes and it would beepbeepbeepbeep...My first two kids learned to live by that watch. I'd just tell them they had X more minutes and then when Mommy's watch went off it was time to (leave, go inside, go to bed, etc). I was merciless in sticking to it with my first (in large part because I was pregnant with my second so soon and had nightmares about what I was in for if he didn't learn I meant what i said) and so this was how we lived--by the beeping of my watch. I used it everywhere. In fact, at some point three yards' worth of kids learned that we ALL went in to our respective houses when Sue's Watch Went Off. Sue's Watch Went Off was sometimes the phrase that had four or five toddler/preschoolers crying and wailing as three mom's dragged them inside, but since all of us were in it together and the watch kept us honest (though I did learn to muffle the watch in my pocket and set it for more time if we wanted to keep talking another minute or three) we carried through and the kids really learned that Sue's Watch Went Off was a fact of life.

Now that I think about it, I need to get another one of those watches--this could explain why life seems harder with the current 5 and 3-yr-olds. They have never lived by the watch, and have gotten away with a lot due to failure to follow through as well. I also do think that by age 4-5 some kids know that Mom may not want to take a hard line in front of other parents and teachers--ever look around at the end of preschool and see a whole bunch of moms talking in overly-sweet, cajoling voices with smiles over clenched teeth, trying to persuade their children to come along nicely, to quietly bribe with snacks or treats or threaten with naps or time outs when they get home, while the kids dawdle, ignore, talk back, or simply refuse and tantrum? And those sweet, tense voices continue, making comments to the air about how Child must be tired or hungry for the benefit of those around, uncertain as to whether they should drag the child out or act firm in case they end up in a public battle with their child and appear not in control and also self-conscious about appearing too tolerant of defiant behavior and not in control but embarrassed regardless at being in public with an uncooperative child in front of other moms and the teacher? Once in a while when doing this myself as I try to discretely wrestle my loudly protesting child into his/her coat and leave with dignity that I simply do not have, I've wanted to shout to my fellow victims: "OK, ON THREE WE ALL PICK THEM UP TOGETHER AND RUN OUT OF HERE AND PROMISE NOT TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER! ONE, TWO, THREE!!!"